Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Construction Zone

Img: http://theofficialcontractor.com/

Prior to me taking this job, things were set in motion for the department to remove asbestos tiles, get carpet, paint the walls, a new ceiling and new lighting fixtures in our office. So, me and my assistant, are crammed into a conference room/makeshift office while they demolish our old office. Now, this wouldn't be such a huge ordeal, but as one would expect, the amount of noise is excruciating. To top it off, there is ASBESTOS in there...in the room next to mine. And I'm sure that the ventilation system isn't carrying away all of it. So, I'm sure I'm breathing a little bit of it while they tear it all up.

We'll be shoved in this little office for at least 3 weeks if not 4. I'm guessing about the time I leave for Disney World (w00t!) they'll be moving us back into our 'new' office. The one plus to this whole thing? They can't hook up my phone until tomorrow. Considering how much I hate the phone, this part has been amazingly awesome!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

'Say What' Wednesday

How does something this innocent say such mean things?!

Lex (still stuck in the 'crackhead' phase): Mommy, you are a silly crackhead

Lex (*clinches fist up*): Mommy, I'm going to punch you in the nose!
Me: Lex, we don't hit people
Dennis: Yeah, so don't be punching people in the face.
Lex: *punches Dennis in the face*

Lex: I'm going to ride in Daddy's car. Wait, actually, this is Mommy's car. Daddy's car is terrible. (he's not even THREE yet! Where did he pick up 'actually'?!)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Weekend Wrap-Up

This weekend was, hmmm, uneventful for the most part. I always take Lex to the Monroe County Public Library http://www.monroe.lib.in.us/ on Saturday mornings to give Dennis a chance to work on the textbook that he's writing. It gives him a good two solid hours to be in the house alone (christ, I'd KILL for that!) to work on geometry, proofs, and all the other icky crap that goes into writing a textbook. The remainder of Saturday afternoon was spent watching crappy tv (Intervention and 16 and Pregnant...yes, I will watch both of them...I realize how lame I am).

Saturday night, I drove up to Indianapolis to one of my very good friend, Kara's, house so that we could drive up to Noblesville to go to a Pure Romance http://pureromance.com/ party. Holy shit, those things can get SERIOUSLY out of hand. I've never heard another woman say, in all seriousness, "Hey, I got some Coochie (a product, mind you!) on my face!" Or my utterance of, "Excuse me, um, I think I broke your cock ring."

Sunday was spent lazing about the house and convincing my son to use the toilet. He managed to stay dry ALL day (he still gets a pull-up for naps and bed), and he used his little toilet for his major transaction. We were very proud, and I think with this recent turn of events, after Thanksgiving we're going to tell the DCP that he's off pull-ups at her house too. I think being forced to be in underwear all day every day will really help us. We know he'll still have accidents and that it won't be perfect, but I think we are all excited (including Lex!) that things are starting to progress. It's funny how just about a week ago I was moaning and whining that we weren't getting anywhere! I guess bitching DOES pay off!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

'Say What' Wednesday

Lex to me after Dennis has been banished by Lex from his room: Daddy's a crackhead.

Lex (repeating me when I censored the words Bad Ass to BA): Lex is a total BA

Now, I want to know which kid at daycare has been calling other kids 'crackheads' because I know for SURE he's not hearing that at MY house *looks down* *kicks pebble*

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Last weekend

What a great weekend! I earned a $50 gift card for participating in a study at the Journalism School (Thanks, Jenny Porter!), did a little shopping for our vacation (Ahhhh, Disney!! So excited!), and then a trip to http://www.childrensmuseum.org/ on Sunday.

The Indianapolis Children's Museum is truly one of the greatest things about Indy (well, you know, other than my parent's and Dennis' parents living there!). Even as an adult I have a good time looking at the Indiana pond, playing with the boats, riding the carousel, and watching Lex run all over the place like a crazy man. We have a museum membership, which rocks, because if Lex isn't feeling it, we don't have to stay. Just the general admission without the membership is ridiculous. I think it's like $12/person, and kids are $10 or something. I'm sure that's not right, but the fact of the matter is, it's hella expensive. And if Lex is pissy or shitty (or some other bodily function) and isn't down with hanging out there, we can abandon ship and we're not really out anything other than the gas it takes to drive up there.

Thus far, though, he's been completely down with it. Sunday mornings are the best because everyone is in church (we're HEATHENS and it RAWKS!) at 10a when they open, and we and the rest of the heathens have it to ourselves. He can run through the exhibits, and I don't have to make sure he's going to get mixed up with a crowd of people and I won't be able to find him.

We had a great weekend, and we're really looking forward to Jolly Days at the Museum!

Monday, November 15, 2010

This is only a vent

this is not my blog post for the day. This is my way of letting off a little steam that has been building regarding my computer tech guys in my new department. I'm sure that they're wonderful people, but god damn, dude. When your comment to me is, "You'd be so much better off with a Mac" instead of fixing my printer (or sending ME the how to fix) I'm going to start to get a little pissy. I love Macs, I do, they're so pretty and awesome, but right now, I have a PC. And the PC is a HELL of a lot less expensive than a Mac is (and especially since if I get one, I'll still want the dual monitor set up, sooooo...)So much so, that I deliberately chose NOT to answer my phone when he called me this morning because I knew that I would be shitty to him. I do not have time to screw around with printer drivers, IE, and the multitude of other shit he is asking me to do to fix something that, as far as I'm concerned, does NOT need fixed. I'm amazingly good at being efficient, and if one fucking app will not print what I need on MY printer, I'll gladly use another printer. It's an extra 50 steps for me into the copy room.

My former department had amazing support, and I realize that this is a much smaller department, but if you're going to be a tech guy, then you should know ALL operating systems, computers, etc. Not just the one YOU use and like.


So, yeah. Later this afternoon, I'll have a real blog post, but for now this is what you're getting.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Dear Name -Shortening Jackwagons

Dear NSJW,

I just want you to know that my name is Kimberly. It is my given and professional name. I have not gone by 'Kim' since around 1997. Once I started college, I changed my name. So, that's, what? THIRTEEN years as 'Kimberly'. Look, I'm not sure if you're too lazy to type/say the whole thing, or if you just don't care, but damn it, *I* do care. It annoys the ever living shit right out of me. It is presumptuous of you to assume that I go by Kim when nothing (my email, my ID, my student ID, credit cards, etc) says, "Kim".

The most common thing I hear is, "I have a friend, cousin, mom, grandmother, sister-wife named 'Kim'." Fabulous. We all know "Kims", I get it. But if I introduce myself as "Kimberly" don't immediately think it's up to you to shorten it for me. I realize that we live in this technological age where we need faster and faster ways to communicate, but soon, I'm just going to be "K" because you lazy motherfuckers can't be bothered to say the whole damn name. Sometimes in emails I'll type KimBERLY, but that usually doesn't get the point across either. So, I've had to resort to a standard, "I prefer my given name over the abbreviated version of my name". I swear, though, I'm seriously considering making it part of my professional email signature.

Now, there are special caveats. My parents, my family (who for 18 years called me 'Kim'), some high school friends (but even they have switched over), and my doctor who is so sweet and kind that it doesn't bother me to have her shorten my name. It's endearing, and I've never corrected her.

But as for the rest of you name-shortening jackwagons, this is your warning. Because throat punching is my next recourse.



PS. STFU about me shortening my son's name to 'Lex'. If you had our last name, you'd shorten your kid's name so that he had a snowball's chance in hell in learning to write it too.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

'Say What' Wednesday

A brief list of the things my son has said to my husband or me in the last week. Always good for a laugh...Well, at least for us it is.

Lex (to me after Dennis told him I made a mess in the garage) with a very furrowed brow: Mommy, you’re silly. You got crap all over the garages.

Lex to Dennis after Dennis picked him up from daycare and he wasn’t ready to leave: Daddy, I want to punch you in face!

Lex to me: Mommy, I turned the fan off so you don’t get a cold.

Lex to me after seeing a picture of Trent Reznor on tv: That man is sad. He is sad because he lost his mommy. He’s very cross because it’s dark outside and he can’t see her.

Lex to a friend at daycare who had zoned out and was staring in Lex’s direction: Hey! Why are you staring at me like that with your eyes?

Lex (after noticing I'm becoming visibly frustrated with him): I'm sorry, Mommy. I'll stop jacking around now.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Lex sings, I nag

Lex sings Ring Around the Rosie to his blueberry muffin until I start yammering at him about making a mess. Even when he's obstinate, he's cute as hell.

Monday, November 8, 2010

What has two thumbs and is a moron?

This guy.

This morning, backing out of the garage I bumped a shelving unit bringing a metric shit-ton of garage-y type items cascading onto my car. This is not the first time. Oh, no, I've done this before. But at least this time (if this can be considered a silver lining), I did not rip off the mirror. Score. I'm amazed that I've done this again. Wait, scratch that. No, I'm not. Let's back up (look, haha, a play on words! how quaint.)

The first time I did this, it was in my husband's Element. I loaded Lex up in the car to head off to the Farmer's Market. That time, I did not have the foresight to stop the car and stay put. Which is how more shit probably fell on the car (and ripped the side mirror off) than this time. And as I pulled forward, more stuff fell on the Element (like a fucking weed whacker), and became hysterical all while Lex sat in the backseat.

This time I put the car in park, tried to assess the situation ("I'm fucked" was how I assessed it), and started trying to clean shit up. Because the garage is so narrow, I couldn't even GET to the mirror or the storage unit to try to clean stuff off of it. I had to climb through over the center console into the passenger seat and start unloading crap that way. Presently, there is one large hose, a car wash kit, and unopened kiddie pool in my car.

Once I had everything off of the car, I backed the car up to start to clean up the shit that was on the floor of the garage. Whilst backing up, I crushed about 30 pieces of Lex's sidewalk chalk in the process, and when I went WAAAAAY up in the air on only one tire, I thought "WTF am I rolling over now?!" and then a very loud pop! I got out to reassess THIS situation, only to discover that apparently, under the car was a large full bottle of car wash...that was now blown to shit and all over the garage. EPIC FAIL.

I closed the garage door, looked at my car only to not see much damage...until I got to work. And then I saw what I had done to the mirror. *sigh*

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Say what?!

Lex (after noticing I'm becoming visibly frustrated with him): I'm sorry, Mommy. I'll stop jacking around now.

Lex: Mommy, I turned the fan off so you don't get a cold.

Friday, November 5, 2010

A non-kid related post

I love my job. I do. I've never been happier, and I used to think that I really enjoyed my job in PSY.

I have just as much freedom with my schedule (with a couple of caveats), I get paid a SHIT TON more now, and I feel like people really respect not only my opinions but the expertise that I bring to my job. Don't get me wrong, I'm still lost on a lot of things (payroll, transferring funds in and out of my accounts as a couple of examples), but they don't scare me. I am back to doing IUF accounting which was always my favorite part of my accounting duties at PSY, and it pleases me greatly.

I still talk to (or see) the people that mattered most to me from that department. From what I've heard, things in my office have changed so much in the short 7 weeks I've been gone, and I'm kind of glad that I'm not there anymore. It's not that I dislike change, or I obviously wouldn't have taken a shot at this job, but I don't like the way I see thing heading over there. And sometimes it takes completely stepping back from the situation to see how I wouldn't have fit with their new model. And that's fine.

I only have 8 faculty members over here, and they all have very large personalities. Faculty meetings are particularly hilarious, but so far I really seem to like them all. I see some potential personality conflicts with one in particular, but I'm not really worried about it. I've worked with and for some pretty terrible people in my work history, so it's not like I can't fake it.

I have an assistant who has been nothing short of wonderful of showing me where to find stuff and teaching me the ropes of the department. She's stated that the feeling within the department has completely changed for the better since I've started.

So, in short, moving departments was really scary and intimidating, but after 7 weeks, I'm completely pleased with myself and with what I've accomplished so far.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Serious potty training day 2

Ok, well, it might not be 'serious' considering he's only in undies between 4p and 8p, but I feel like we're actually making some progress. The first night we had 3 accidents and 3 new undies. Last night, no accidents, and a lot of positive praise and prizes. For every time he pees (regardless if I ask him to or not) he gets 2 mini M&Ms. Last night, because he stayed dry all night he was able to choose a prize out of the prize bucket. Today, he's already asking for his prize, and I keep reminding him that as long as he keeps going potty in the potty and keeps his big boy undies dry, he'll get his surprise. The best part is, he doesn't scream like I'm murdering him when I put his undies on him now. The first day I physically had to HOLD HIM DOWN to get them on. And Dennis said, "He doesn't like them; don't force him!" I was, like, "Seriously?! Christ, if we let him NOT do all the things he finds discomforting, he'll never get up in the mornings or go to bed!" Apparently, yesterday before I got home, he actually ASKED to put them on, so I feel like that's a check mark for me.

I'm not getting my hopes up, and the real test will be the weekend when he's home with us all day to see if he'll stay dry. Soon, we're going to have to have the DCP having him wear the undies all day (except for nap times, I guess). That's when the real test is going to begin I guess...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Potty Training

Wow, potty training is a total bitch. We've bought big boy undies, mini M&M's for when he does go, prizes for the prize bucket for any trips to the potty that aren't nagged out of him (see below):

Me: Do you have to go?
Lex: (barely looks up from whatever inane thing he's doing) No.
Me: Are you sure?
Lex: Yes.
Me: I'll give you two M&M's if you go
Lex: Ok! I want candy.
Me: *slaps forehead*

We had to change out of Mac underwear and black Lightning McQueen (well, not an African-American...never mind...) undies, and one time he made it to the bathroom, but couldn't pull his drawers down fast enough. So, I reminded him that he was to either go without me or tell me he needs to go to the bathroom. And when he doesn't, and he pees in his undies, we have to go ALLLLLLL the way upstairs to get a new pair and put the old pair in the washing machine.

He loved the M&M's, and I don't feel too terribly guilty since he's only getting 2 at a time (which is the equivalent of 1/2 of a regular M&M). It seemed to work because in the past he's always 'half-ass' peed, which is him sort of going and cutting it off mid-stream when I know damn good and well he's not done peeing. He just doesn't want to waste anymore of his time.

So, I'm hoping that this will be the turning point. I don't want to rush him or pressure him, but I know that if we keep up with good habits, it will click for him.