Monday, November 8, 2010

What has two thumbs and is a moron?

This guy.

This morning, backing out of the garage I bumped a shelving unit bringing a metric shit-ton of garage-y type items cascading onto my car. This is not the first time. Oh, no, I've done this before. But at least this time (if this can be considered a silver lining), I did not rip off the mirror. Score. I'm amazed that I've done this again. Wait, scratch that. No, I'm not. Let's back up (look, haha, a play on words! how quaint.)

The first time I did this, it was in my husband's Element. I loaded Lex up in the car to head off to the Farmer's Market. That time, I did not have the foresight to stop the car and stay put. Which is how more shit probably fell on the car (and ripped the side mirror off) than this time. And as I pulled forward, more stuff fell on the Element (like a fucking weed whacker), and became hysterical all while Lex sat in the backseat.

This time I put the car in park, tried to assess the situation ("I'm fucked" was how I assessed it), and started trying to clean shit up. Because the garage is so narrow, I couldn't even GET to the mirror or the storage unit to try to clean stuff off of it. I had to climb through over the center console into the passenger seat and start unloading crap that way. Presently, there is one large hose, a car wash kit, and unopened kiddie pool in my car.

Once I had everything off of the car, I backed the car up to start to clean up the shit that was on the floor of the garage. Whilst backing up, I crushed about 30 pieces of Lex's sidewalk chalk in the process, and when I went WAAAAAY up in the air on only one tire, I thought "WTF am I rolling over now?!" and then a very loud pop! I got out to reassess THIS situation, only to discover that apparently, under the car was a large full bottle of car wash...that was now blown to shit and all over the garage. EPIC FAIL.

I closed the garage door, looked at my car only to not see much damage...until I got to work. And then I saw what I had done to the mirror. *sigh*


  1. Sounds like you're having my kind of day. Wish I could tell you how to fix it, but my "fixes" usually just end up causing more damage. Here's to hoping tomorrow is a better day!!

  2. Nope, this guy right here!

    The day did improve up to the point where my not-yet-3 year old told me with a VERY furrowed brow, "Mommy, you're so silly. You got crap all over the garage!" Even my son read me the riot act!