Friday, February 25, 2011

A conversation I didn't think would happen yet!


So, last night I was getting Lex ready to take a bath. I had to pee, but Lex came into the bathroom in all his nakedness and proclaimed, "I have to pee!" Well, when your freshly potty trained preschooler tells you that, their need takes precedence over your own. Whatever.

So, Lex finishes up, and I said, "Lex, put the seat down, Mommy needs to pee". So, I proceed to sit down to do my business...This is the conversation that followed.

Lex: Why do you sit down?
Me: because I can't stand to pee.
Lex: Why?
Me: because I don't have a penis
Lex: *aghast* WHAT?!
Me: Yup.
Lex: what happened to it?
Me: Um, I don't have one?
Lex: But where did it go?
Me: Um...mommy wasn't born with one.
Lex: Daddy has a penis.
Me: Yup
Lex: *I* have a penis!
Me: Yes, you do. Let's go play in the bath now.
Lex: *sounding very remorseful* Sorry you lost your penis.

I don't mind talking to him about this stuff at all. I wasn't phased, I answered his questions matter of factly, using anatomical terms and that mommies and daddies are different. He seemed ok with it. He did bring it up later, and I wondered if he was going to go to daycare and tell everyone what we talked about. But I'd rather him hear this stuff from me than the older kids at daycare.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hey, look over here!

As some of you might know (or don't), my husband is a high school math teacher among other things, but that's his main job. He teaches a course at our community college, is writing a Geometry textbook (with an Algebra 2 book in the wings), and grades calculus and geometry papers for students at the IU High School. When he's not physically somewhere else, his nose is buried in his computer screen. Pretty much from the time he hits the door until the time he goes to bed. Some women are hunting widows, but I’m a workaholic widow. I bet if he were paid what I think teachers SHOULD be paid, he'd still do most of the stuff he does, but he isn't paid what I think someone with a master's degree SHOULD be paid.

And when he's not doing any of THOSE things, he serves as the union president for his school corporation. Ah, unions. Because they're not in the news enough right now. My husband, who DESPISES politics, is right in the thick of it whether he wants it or not. And not only is he in a union, he's in the *gasp* TEACHER'S UNION! Oh, the humanity.

I'm not going to go into great details about some of the bills that are before my legislation right now other than to say that there seems to be an outright assault on public education. This is led by our Governor, Mitch Daniels, who by the way has his eye on 1600 Pennsylvania and the State Superintendent of Public Instruction, Tony Bennett. One of the bills that blows my mind allows for taxpayer dollars to be funneled away from public education to private education. I, for one, have no issue with private schools. Whatever. What I do take issue with is that this legislation is being supported by Dr. Bennett. Now, read what his title is again…right, SUPERINTENDENT OF PUBLIC INSTRUCTION. Now, pardon me here, but What. The. Fuck. Public is in his title, right? Did anyone inform him of this?
Today, I kind of had to gasp. Now, I’m never sure how accurate facts and figures are. I don’t know how seriously, I should take statistics (and not the course because I did NOT take that class serious enough), but this one caused me to suck my breath in…and worry more than I have been already. Apparently, the ISTA (Indiana State Teachers Association) president, the head cheese of the organization, spoke with some teachers at a school with which I have some familiarity (I hate you, Greyhounds. Suck a dick) who stated that if a merit bill passes, they could lose up to 10-15k of their salary. Now, I don’t want to give away that a person with a BS isn’t making much money, but I don’t. I, too, work for the state…and if MY salary was cut by 15k, it would be almost cut in half (actually, because I’m the fiscal officer of a department, it would be about 42.8%...and now you know how much I make). I would make about the same money when I was in college working 30hrs a week. I’m not saying that my husband would make less than 20k, but what I am saying, essentially, is that we would lose our house. There is no doubt in my mind. And the kick to the teeth, punch to the throat, whatever, is that he has a master’s degree. That we’re still paying on right now. Because when he received it, he got a bump in pay for a job that is, I’m sorry, a little underpaid anyway. As all teachers state, “I don’t go into teaching for the money”, and that’s obviously the truth. It also shows that I didn’t marry for money. There is no money in teaching, but Jesus. Should a high school dropout make MORE than my husband? My husband who has a Master’s degree? What. The. Wickety. Whack? Really? Now, again, whether these figures are accurate or can really be assumed is still up in the air, but just the simple fact of knowing that this could happen is scary. Even if it doesn’t happen to US.

I have more friends than not who are teachers. I mean, just off the top of my head, I can think of 5 people that I communicate on a fairly regular basis who are teachers. And damn good ones. And knowing that this could happen to them KILLS me. For all I know, merit pay may work in their favor because they ARE good, but I also know where they work. And I know that tying their students’ scores to their pay is a terrible idea. TERRIBLE. Low income, non-involved parents, abuse, homelessness, etc. These are things that teachers cannot always overcome regardless of what government officials think. You can try, but maybe there are some kids that may be so broken that you can’t reach them. How do you engage the ones that don’t WANT to be engaged? I realize that the government’s attitude is, “A good teacher CAN reach them.” I don’t agree with that. I have firsthand experience. I was a smart kid, but I was a lazy student. This is obvious by the discrepancy between my high school and college grades. I barely graduated in the top HALF of my class, but my entire time at IU I was a Founder’s Day awardee (which I guess is like the Dean’s List or some such nonsense). No matter what punishment my parents came up with and regardless of how hard the teachers worked to get me to try I wasn’t having any part of it. And I wasn’t broken. I had a roof over my head, good food on my table, parents that loved me, and anything I wanted. Yet, I didn’t care. No teacher got through to me. Sure, I had some good grades in classes I liked (shout out to Mr. Roach, Mrs. Baxter, and Mr. Brown), but most of the time I just didn’t give a crap.

And there are other things that I could address…no more due process in firing? Expansion of charter schools when there are no data to support that they’re better than public schools, etc. on, and on, and on.

So, I’m sorry if you thought this was going to be a funny post of Lexisms or any of the other trivial and silly things I typically do around here. If you’re annoyed, that’s fine because I am too. I prefer the stupid and silly stuff over the heavy stuff, and unfortunately, it might be heavy around here for awhile. Or I won’t be around at all. Who knows?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Say What Wednesday

Sorry, this week's 'episode' surrounds the things that boys like, I guess.

Lex: Daddy, Hermie doesn't like to make toys!

Lex: *passes gas in the bathtub*: Mommy, my penis just burped. Did you see it?!

Lex (after having a major transaction on the potty): Mommy, it smells like poopie in here! Someone needs to turn on the fan!!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Say What Wednesday

Lex to Dennis when he floors the car to scoot across traffic: JESUS, Daddy!

Using the lord's name in vain? Definitely my kid.

Random thoughts by Lex (recalling an event on Tuesday evening): There are no shopping carts at Kroger.

Lex to me: Gabriel had green hair today. He looked like a keprechaun.

I've never EVER said the word 'leprechaun' to Lex. Ever. And I have no idea if Gabriel really had green hair. And when I queried Lex about Gabriel's hair, he just kept repeating that he looked like a 'keprechaun'. I laughed so hard I started to cry...and Lex said, "Mommy, I won't say it anymore, don't cry!!" He was so cute!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

'Say What' Wednesday

The part where Lex exerts his independence and expands his tyrannical reign over his parents.

Lex (sitting on toilet): Daddy, you need to leave my bathroom. You're bothering me.

Lex (to me last night at dinner): I'm in charge, not you.


This week's edition is a little light in content. Most of my comments from Lex are taken over the weekend or when he says something particularly amusing. However, Lex came down with strep throat Saturday night, and he didn't really do a lot this weekend outside of whining, sleeping, and then sleeping some more. It felt like I had three dogs instead of two with all the lazing around.

On another note of interest to me, mostly, is we moved from Lex's convertible daybed to his full size bed. He is now completely dwarfed and about 4 feet in the air. His bed actually sits, easily, 6-8in higher than our bed. He loves it. All he wanted to do was lay around on it last night. And for the first time since Friday night, slept soundly and through the night. It was all kinds of awesome.

And on the potty training front, Lex now only wears his pull-ups for naps and bedtime. On the binky front? Those little things have officially been kicked to the curb.

Monday, January 24, 2011

WDW Day 3 (Magic Kingdom) Part 1

Magic Kingdom...the one thing that I've been wishing for since I was about 10. It's shameful that most of the day was Lex in meltdown mode, but when you're 2 11/12 and your nap schedule is screwed up and you're going to bed about 3 hours later than you normally do, meltdowns are going to happen. It's inevitable. Needless to say, my camera was in my backpack for the majority of the day, and the only photos I think we took during the day were at the Polynesian with the character breakfast, and pictures of our character dinner at the Crystal Palace later that afternoon.

Initially, we weren't going to go to the Polynesian for breakfast, but I think we decided we should go because we'd spent all this money on the deluxe dining plan, and we were seldom making it to our reservations...little did I know at the time that Dennis was actually having a gall bladder attack and that's why HE wasn't eating, but that's neither here nor there. So, anyway, we go over to the Polynesian for breakfast at 11a at 'Ohana. Turns out it was a character breakfast, so we're VERY glad that we did go. The only times on MK day that we were able to get Lex to comply with ANYTHING was when we were hanging out with the characters. And truthfully, before we left I thought I would be really freaked out by the characters in all their ginormous headed glory, but watching Lex engaging with them took away some of my anxiety. Lex loved meeting all of the characters, and he was definitely very happy when Mickey came over to sign his autograph book and take pictures with him. My favorite part was watching Pluto try to sign the autograph books. As you can see Pluto had to put the autograph book up on his nose to actually see the autograph book to sign it! Hilarious! Lex didn't know who Lilo and Stitch were, but it didn't prevent him from being super excited to get hugs and autographs from them.

After we had our fill of Mickey waffles, we hopped the monorail to Magic Kingdom. I've never been more excited to see something in all of my life. I guess I never told Dennis how much I wanted to go, but man, I was so overwhelmed at all of the 'stuff'! The first thing we did was hopped the Walt Disney World Express train around the park. Lex was already starting to get into his, "I don't want to!" phase, and we figured the train would be the best thing...kind of get his mind on things he DOES like. So, we rode the train around the park once, and then stayed on to get off in Mickey's Toon Town Fair. Holy lord. I can honestly say that I've never seen this many people in one place at one time. It was frightening how overwhelming all of the people are. And since we were having trouble getting Lex to really want to do anything, we spent a good portion of time just trying to get him to take it all in and enjoy it. You could get your picture taken with Minnie in her house, I think, but the line was CRAZY long (you'll start to notice a trend here) so I let the boys wander around in her house while I went to find a bathroom (line!!).

At some point, I decided that regardless of whether Lex wanted to be there or not, damn it, I was going to ride some of the rides that I'd read about as a kid. So, off to Dumbo we went. When we walked up, guess what? LINE! a 45 minute line...but I was dissuaded? Hellz no. So, I made my family stand in line for 3/4 of an hour for 2 minutes of pure bliss. And not just my own. Surprisingly, waiting in line was something that Lex seemed to tolerate (no idea why). And once we got him on the Dumbo, he was stoked. So much so, that I basically had to drag his tiny ass off of the elephant so another family could ride it. We promised we'd come back later.

Dennis downloaded some crazy app that lets you know the waiting time (both fast pass and stand by)for the rides. All of the rides we were interested in all had wait times of 60 minutes or more. So, in frustration, we got on the Liberty Square Riverboat. At this point, Lex lost his shit. He screamed the ENTIRE time we were on the boat. The whole 20-30 minutes. Mostly because we wouldn't let him run up and down the stairs willy-nilly.

After the disastrous boat ride, it was getting close to parade time. Now, parade time is cool, but it is also very well organized and very crazy. My friend, Melissa (here's where she makes her appearance and will have a MUCH bigger role in the next edition ), is a big shot! She works for Disney and on this particular day she was manning the Main Street parade. She'd told me the night before that she would be doing this, and due to our late start we got in touch with her kind of late. We weren't going to be able to see the Main Street's afternoon parade (which I'm sure has a name, but I just don't know it!), but she would hook us up for the Main Street Electrical Parade. While we tried to find a place to view the parade, which never happened, Lex proceeded to throw the tantrum to end all tantrums. So, what did we do? Oh, we headed for 'dinner'.

'Dinner' (which is in quotes because it was at 3:40p) was at the Crystal Palace. Now, when I told everyone we were eating here, everyone said, "Oh, it's so awesome! It's my favorite". Well, it easily became MY favorite too. Another character meal? Yes, please. Because as I've stated on NUMEROUS occasions: You want my kid to behave? Put a character in his face! So, that's what we did. And I'm so glad we did. Because this tiny little face lit up every single time a character came near him. He ate most of his food with out us having to coerce him, he interacted pleasantly with us, he squealed when characters would get near us, and most of all he got over his terrible temper tantrum.

After lunch, we hopped on the bus to head back to the 'Star House' so that Mommy and Daddy could relax after the insane Lex day, and so that Lex could try to wind down a bit and take a nap. At this point, getting Lex past the arcade is proving to be nothing short of a challenge. On the first day we were there, I took him in there to keep him busy while Dennis stood in line for 90 minutes or whatever to check us in. From that point on, every single time we needed to go into the main part of the building, Lex had a cow if we would try to go past the arcade without going in. No amount of pulling, pushing, whatever, kept him from freaking the hell out if we didn't let him go inside. This day was no exception. So, we dragged a screaming toddler (oh, the best part of WDW? We were NEVER the only parents with the screaming toddler)past the arcade...again.

I would have to say that my biggest regret was not taking nearly enough pictures during the day at MK. Oh, we MORE than made up for it at night, that's for sure, but I mean, really? Who wants a bunch of pictures of a red-faced screaming kid on a 2k vacation? Not me. That's for sure.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

'Say What' Wednesday

Well, Lex is definitely learning some of our colorful vernacular.

Lex: Daddy, you are a wiener.

Lex: Daddy, do NOT talk with your mouth full!

Lex: I'm gonna kick you in the NUTS! (yeah, he got that one from me. My bad.)

Last week, it snowed terribly in Bloomington, so I left the 4x4 with the boys in case they wanted to get out. Apparently, this was what Lex said to Dennis

Lex: If we don't go pick up mommy at work, she'll have to work all night and she'll be mad. And then she won't come to my birthday party!